My hands were slightly shaking, my heart racing and my breath moving quickly as I gripped the key; standing in front of my new apartment; the result of a decision happening ahead of schedule but an opportunity that I couldn’t pass up. It was a great exercise in pulling the trigger on a decision instead of questioning it into oblivion. The excitement of change and new beginnings (something I am not a novice of any longer) gripped me as I looked at the building. I had finally put my life back together enough to gain some self-sufficiency after a challenging eight months of regrouping; now left in the dust behind me. Months of rebuilding lay ahead of me and will lead me down the road to myself. Although I am not religious, I said a prayer, or mantra, to all who had helped me along the way. My heart filled with an almost pain of feeling like I could never sufficiency repay them; feeling as though I must succeed if not for me, then for them and their efforts also. My singing career, to an extent, had taken a backseat to more immediate needs. But that is about to change.
I finally sit and peruse the audition notices again; a little scared that I have wasted time, but knowing, in the end, that it was necessary. I am ready to begin to find those parts of me that had been dormant. I am returning. And my dreams, I have found, never left.