Freefall

My hands were slightly shaking, my heart racing and my breath moving quickly as I gripped the key; standing in front of my new apartment; the result of a decision happening ahead of schedule but an opportunity that I couldn’t pass up.  It was a great exercise in pulling the trigger on a decision instead of questioning it into oblivion.  The excitement of change and new beginnings (something I am not a novice of any longer) gripped me as I looked at the building.  I had finally put my life back together enough to gain some self-sufficiency after a challenging eight months of regrouping; now left in the dust behind me.  Months of rebuilding lay ahead of me and will lead me down the road to myself.  Although I am not religious, I said a prayer, or mantra, to all who had helped me along the way.  My heart filled with an almost pain of feeling like I could never sufficiency repay them; feeling as though I must succeed if not for me, then for them and their efforts also.  My singing career, to an extent, had taken a backseat to more immediate needs.  But that is about to change.

I finally sit and peruse the audition notices again; a little scared that I have wasted time, but knowing, in the end, that it was necessary.   I am ready to begin to find those parts of me that had been dormant.  I am returning.  And my dreams, I have found, never left.

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One thought on “Freefall

  1. You made me smile with that last line, Amy. “And my dreams, I found, have never left.” I like that.

    Here’s one for you – “I have always believed that hope is that stubborn thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us so long as we have the courage to keep reaching, to keep working, to keep fighting.”

    Be well.

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