Paying your dues when you don’t

“This is not hard work,” I thought to myself when reviewing these past months of coaching my voice, taking dance classes, networking, marketing myself, and auditioning.  Part of loving my craft is loving the cultivation of it.  The blood pumps into my limbs and fuels them for action, the sweat pours from the body as I learn a new dance move that will aid in a future audition, the tears release the excitement or the tension or bring forth the emotion of a phrase.  As I play the waiting game again this week after a promising audition,  I have realized that “paying my dues” was having the endurance necessary to keep going and not giving up.   The disappointments can surround you, the discouragement can poison your positive outlook, the very powerful urge to quit, after a particularly hard day, can seduce you to inaction.  Fighting that urge tooth and nail is my hard work, and is fought with true blood, sweat, and tears.  I will gladly pay these dues, no matter how hard it may seem.  My dream is closer than it has ever been before.  It is on the other side of the door that I am leaning against, my head resting on its hard surface; my hand reaching to turn the knob.   When the door opens and I finally walk through, my dues will have been paid in full.