A ham, I am.

First I would hear my mother’s exasperated sigh followed by, “There you are mysteriously in the frame again! Will you move please?”

This vocal stamp has appeared in most of my home movies throughout my childhood.  Older than the camcorder videos are scores of pictures where the intended subject in the background is blocked by my half-blurred face as I make a jump to get in front of the lens before the shutter clicks.

My family will agree when I say that for my entire life, I have been a ham.  Only a ham would admit she is a ham, yes?  This was simply who I was and has been, no doubt, a helpful trait to embody in the world of performance.

So it was with great excitement when I first took my seat at the Ambler Theater to wait for the Five Day Film Festival to begin.  The movie I was in would be screened with several others for audience and judge voting.  I was impressed with what people could create, write, film and edit given the very short time frame of five days.  And as our movie cued up, I realized very quickly how surreal it was to see your face (and your name) on the big screen.  Instead of the hesitation that I thought I would feel (I like to be in front of cameras but watching myself perform is an entirely different matter), I found myself intrigued by the experience.  I watched closely and took mental notes as to which angles looked best for me and those I didn’t like (I hate profiles).  I noted how my voice sounded or if my face reflected the emotion I was trying to get across.  It was akin to an out-of-body experience.  I was thrilled to finally be seeing the finished product and how my words and scenes fit in to the bigger picture.  I can say with certainty that I’ll do it again.

Surreal.

A heartfelt thanks to Digital Reality Films and namely Rob Coccagna, Robin Coccagna and Nick  Martorelli for this opportunity and a special thanks to Amanda Kay Schill with whom I filmed my scene.  Lesley Berkowitz was the third character in the film.