“Find something close to your heart.” – Carman Spoto

Before I auditioned for Carman Spoto’s film, Hylo (ready for release in January 2012), I made sure to do research by looking at footage from his last film, which was very impressive.  His age (now 19) gave me initial pause, but what impressed me more was that when he found what he loved, he pursued it with drive and persistence.  The act of passionate persistence is universal and universally inspiring, so I decided to interview Carman about the dream, the obstacles, and the film that is the denouement of not giving up.  Be sure to visit the Hylo site (www.indiegogo.com/hylo).

Photo by Megan Kelly

Was  there something that happened in your life that made you decide you wanted to be a filmmaker?

My whole life I have been making movies.  As a kid, my sister, my two cousins (one of which is John Hutelmyer, the editor of Hylo) and myself would make movies on our old VHS cameras.  Even throughout my middle school I would save up money to buy cameras and make movies with my friends.  But it wasn’t until the summer of 2007 that I really decided I wanted to become a filmmaker.

How old were you?

In 2007, I was 14, and one night while being bored on YouTube, I looked up how to do a gunshot effect.  I found this tutorial by this small video series called Indymogul:  Backyard FX or (BFX) and that site published videos on how to do special effects and also how to write and produce short films cheaply.  I was one of the first people on the forums at indymogul.com, and that site is what shaped me into the filmmaker I became.

What made you decide to pursue your dream despite any obstacles that could stand in your way?

Once I realized I wanted to be a filmmaker, nothing could really stop me.  I fell in love.  It was all I wanted to do.  It consumed my life.  If I wasn’t shooting a film, I was editing a film, if I wasn’t editing, I was writing, if I wasn’t writing I was researching cameras, if I wasn’t doing that, then I was learning about lighting and shot composition.  As far as obstacles, money is the issue that fights all artists, and even though my family has been very supportive, I had to work two jobs during high school in order to save up money to purchase my camera equipment.

Who was your greatest influence and why?

Honestly, I  have to say Erik Beck, the creator of BFX.  Without him I wouldn’t have learned all the small tricks it takes to start making small films.  He taught me everything I needed to know.  He taught me how to makes films on
shoestring budgets.  He is the reason why I know much more than my fellow students in film school.  He is the reason why I am finishing my second feature at age 19, he is the reason I am the person I am today.

Who was your greatest supporter and why?

I don’t know if there is anyone in particular, but my parents have really been very supportive.  They always have been.  It’s weird because my mom never got a chance to go to college and my dad is a chiropractor, but they never really objected to me becoming a filmmaker.  Which is great, because they have always wanted me to pursue it.  Although I am not that interested in continuing film school like they want, they still support me in my decisions.  I might have been cut off from a life of filmmaking at the very beginning if it weren’t for my mother’s support.  My first serious attempt at a short film was back in 2008, and right before production started, my grandmother passed away.  I was about to cancel the shoot because it was scheduled ON the day of my grandmother’s funeral.  However, my mother insisted that I continued the shoot and leave the after-funeral dinner early in order to shoot the film.

What is the best part about being a filmmaker?

There are so many advantages to being a filmmaker.  It’s an art that everyone can enjoy.  Not everyone likes paintings, or dancing, or poetry, but almost everyone loves movies.  Filmmaking also allows for complete artistic control; more than any other art, in my opinion.  It contains almost all of the arts.  Photography out of cinematography, painting out of lighting and framing, poetry or writing out of the script, dancing out of choreography and blocking, music out of the score or even the sound mix and collage work out of editing.  It’s this perpetual blend of all the arts, and allows a filmmaker complete control over the medium.

Did you ever decide at any moment that you wanted to walk away from filmmaking?

Wow, I hate telling this story, but a long time ago, at least 4 or 5 years ago, right as I started getting into filmmaking, I decided I was going to make a zombie movie.  I passed around flyers at my school to get extras to play zombies.  I had at least 20 friends say they were going to show up.  About 5 did.  My mom felt so bad that she forced my sister and her friend to dress up and play zombies as well, but I was still so unprepared for the shoot that I had to cancel it.  I was young, I was embarrassed, it was pretty bad.

If so, what made you stay?

Just because I messed up didn’t mean I stopped loving movies.  Out of everything, I learned so much about the necessity for pre-production.  I only had a script outline and light storyboards.  I didn’t know what I was going to be shooting first, or my exact shots.  So when I was on set that day I was completely unprepared.  Now I know how important every step of the process is.  I also know I will probably never make a zombie movie again.

Is there anything you fear with this career? And if so, how do you overcome it?

Well, with every career there is the main fear of just being unsuccessful in it, which is obviously a little scary.  When I see the “industry professionals” who scan Craigslist every 15 minutes for a new gig, it worries me, because I don’t want to be in that situation.  Although my biggest dream is to become a well-known director, my biggest passion in film is cinematography.  So if I end up as a DP (director of photography) then I will in no way be upset.  My true biggest fear is ceasing to express myself.  The whole point of filmmaking to me is self-expression.  It’s my only vice.  It’s my only release.   Without it, I might just explode.  So I guess my biggest fear is exploding.  To prevent that, I have to take the gigs that matter to me.  Whether it is working on my own films, or working as a DP for other people, I need to know I will be able to add my creative input.  For my own films, as long as I have a certain story, or more importantly, a feeling that I need to convey, I expect that I should be safe from exploding.

What was the idea that sparked your second film, Hylo?

It all started one night when The Swine Four were hanging out. The “Swine Four,” is a term that Quinn Dougherty made up to describe myself and the three friends who make up the crew of Swine Films.  The four contains me, Quinn Dougherty, the composer mainly but was also producer on Hylo, David Conte, who partially co-wrote Hylo, and Robert Fitzgibbons, my best friend for the last ten years, who has helped out on almost every film I have ever made, as a grip/PA.  The story takes place in March 2011, while I was struggling trying to write my  second feature, which was a neo-noir.  I was trying to write it, but it felt forced and unnatural.  Anyway, one night we were bored and we were just driving in the woods around Chester County, where we live.  We drove in the dark woods and country roads for hours, just trying to get lost.  It was just us four guys in the car, and we were surrounded by huge trees and complete darkness.  It would have been pitch black if I had my headlights off.  We were just surrounded by this overwhelming presence of the woods.  We started talking about horror stories and tales, and David and I started talking about this one mythos about this suited man who lives in the woods and steals children.  It was this terrifying story that spawned on the Internet.  We started talking about the options of developing a feature film based around it, and that night we stayed up until 5am thinking of ideas, and thus Hylo was spawned.

What is your greatest achievement with Hylo?

I think the greatest achievement with Hylo was how fast and cheap we shot it. I wrote the script as cheaply as I could, but it came down to some serious planning to really make it happen.  We shot the film in eight and a half days.  It was supposed to be 9, however we got rained out about an hour into one of the shoots, and were unable to reschedule the day because of scheduling conflicts with the cast and crew, so we had to put the rest of the scenes from that day onto one of the other, already fully loaded shoots.  We were shooting 10-15 page days sometimes.  I think the final shoot; we shot 13 scenes, whichh is over 16 pages.  It was insane.  Somehow we did it.  On the second shoot, the production designer, Hannah Alpert, had to spend a few hours setting up this prop/special effect, and even though we were rushed the rest of the day, and had to make some artistic compromises, we still made our day.  We finally got all ready technically, and I went to the talent to start talking about the scene with them and seeing how they were feeling.  It was great because Shannon Jones, who plays the lead character Laura, and Leonard Dozier, who plays Frank, nailed it within the first two rehearsals.  And they were completely memorized and ready to shoot.  It was amazing. I was so proud.  If everyone, talent and crew, hadn’t been up to their “A-game” there is no way we would have been able to do it.  We shot it for about 4000 dollars, which was just the money I had saved up from working at Best Buy.  More than half of that went to the cast and crew, the rest went to food and such.

What message do you have for others that might have a dream or a vision in mind but are afraid to take the next steps?

Just find passion in your art.  I see so many peers at my film school who just aren’t passionate enough to produce anything. They spend too much time partying and wasting time to make anything of value.  If you really care about your art, find something close to your heart; that you are passionate about, and express it in your art.  Hylo came out of this transitional period in my life when I was moving out of my world surrounded by the woods, and moving into the city of Philadelphia where there were little to no trees.  You find this passion inside of you.  You need to bring it out.  If you are passionate about something, it will get done.  You just have to keep working at it.  I made 2 feature films with no money, entirely self-produced.  I worked hard, and it happened.  As long as you have passion, and care about what you are creating, then the rest will just fall into place.

Diva 4G – It’s how you know who you know

Long ago, I used to wave the original statement off; actually believing that if I were simply good enough, it would be enough.  It didn’t take long to realize the error of my ways.  The relationships we build in the business and how we contribute to the industry brings an entirely new and unexpected level of fulfillment and fuel to the pursuit.  Where a lot of us fall short is how we build those relationships and what methods we use to do so.

Since I was already in New York to write a review for Stage Magazine and staying overnight, I was able to meet with my favorite divas Abby and Maren for our monthly diva meeting to discuss this very issue.  We also welcomed a fourth member; the lovely, talented and FUNNY Kara Morgan, who is the sassy mastermind behind The Kara Morgan Show.  Abby and I had joined two different Dallas Travers programs, (both currently at the halfway point) and were excited to share some of the things we had learned.  Telling three people every day about our goal, daily phone calls, sending out postcards to a target list and doing physical drop offs of materials in lieu of putting them in the mail, were just a sampling of the things we were doing during the programs.  We both were feeling the undeniable momentum and energy gleaned from doing these tasks as well as enjoying the new relationships we were building; ones that would ultimately get us to our goals.

We just need to remember that the people behind the audition table and in the casting offices have information that could be useful to us.  We need to get to know them, have them mentor us, and think of them as those that help us reach our goals and not ones keeping us from them.

Dive

My heart was pounding in my chest and my hands were balmy with sweat.  Tears were brimming as my acting coach looked at me with intensity, my monologue in his hands as he followed along.  Feelings welled up in me as I realized that I was no longer delivering the lines of an alcoholic on her 184th day of sobriety but was living them.  My plan to show intention in the lines and emotions stepped deftly aside as the actual emotions took hold.  The words suddenly leapt from the page and took their first breaths along with mine.  I had just experienced the effects of an acting technique that, in the most simplest terms, is used to help connect your emotions to the words on the page, making them come alive.

A week ago, when picking a monologue as part of my homework assignment for the first of what would be four sessions, I had narrowed it down to two possibilities.  One was more like me in the playful and sensual way.  The words sounded like me, ones I might say; emotions never venturing too far outside of the lines.  I knew right away that it felt too easy and wouldn’t stretch me.  The other, however, made my hands shake when reading it.  It scared me to even contemplate and was a far leap from any emotional experience I had juggled with on a stage thus far.  Despite my discomfort, I gravitated towards the one that made my heart pound.  I was in this for the long haul and if I was going to learn, really turn myself inside out, this would be the one to get me there.

Later, as I slumped in the bus seat on my way back to Philadelphia, I replayed the session in my head.  I held a notebook filled with over two hours of notes and terms that were new to me.  As my mind tried to process everything that I had experienced, I realized with a tired smile how much I loved feeling overwhelmed.  It meant that I had touched on something that had the ability to propel me to the next level as a performer.

These last few months have been synonymous to having jumped out of a plane over and over.   I have been dancing with fear and I liked how it felt.  This newest experience was another heart-pounding leap.  There is a poignant exhilaration experienced when fear is broken.  A side effect of this is feeling incredibly alive.  Moving forward despite it allows me to walk down the same road as the successful ones before me; the ones that I want to become.

It is the rite of passage for giants and if I want the ultimate success, I have to walk it.  I do so willingly.

Impart

Take 16 minutes today to sit somewhere uninterrupted and watch the Steve Jobs commencement speech that he gave to the Stanford graduating class of 2005.  His words are the very root, the very spark of everything I write about here.  I didn’t know about the speech until today when I read it for the first time during an afternoon walk.  I was so stunned by the words that I had to stop and stand still to continue reading as people walked around me.  I could add my own thoughts but they are within the words of his speech. Take pause.

How I found my voice

Artist - Zenos Frudakis- Freedom, Human Design Australia

My hands are slightly clammy and my heart starts to pound in my chest.  I can feel the butterflies welling up in my stomach as it tightens.  My breath catches in my throat and I lick my lips since my mouth is getting dry.

This isn’t my reaction before an audition, a call back, or the moments before the opening overture begins during a production I am in.

This is how I feel before making a phone call.  Not a phone call to a family member or friend, but one to a casting director or producer to inquire about an audition or role.  I feel this way before one of the daily calls I have to make to share my goal as part of the 42-Day Book a Job Challenge that I am doing.  In the past, I would not pick up the phone but would skip it and miss a networking opportunity or miss getting the answers I needed.

I was the singer without a voice.

This Challenge, and the daily tasks that it entails, such as using the phone, has pushed me so far outside of my box that I’m actually becoming a different person.  I’m becoming the kind of person that I need to be to push my marketing and networking to its most effective state in order to reach my ultimate goals.  Maybe this, to put it simply, is part of what it takes.

As I traverse Week #2 (Day 9), I think back to the first week when I noticed right away what my biggest issues were.  Some of the daily tasks are easier; perhaps things that I’m used to doing or feel comfortable doing.  And then there are the difficult ones; the ones that hold the “magic” as they are the ones that, if completed, make me face (and dispel) my demons; the same demons that have let opportunities sneak away.

Each day, as I make a phone call despite my discomforts, I bring a voice to my goal which gives it life.  The exhilaration, empowerment and euphoria felt after hanging up is undeniable and paves the way for opportunity.

This Challenge is teaching me that the treasures in life are found outside of the box, not within it.